Weddings in Malta in the eighteenth century

Published on 08/02/2011

Aurore VERIÉ

article in the GAMT Bulletin no. 71 of 2000/3

I read a book of the Maltese historian, Frans Ciappara, which gives us an aspect of Maltese society in the eighteenth century. Here is a summary of "Marriages in Malta".

Firstly, the author tells us that girls did not get married as young as we thought: statistics show that the average age at their wedding was 20 to 25 years. For men, the average was higher the wealthier the family was, and it was 27 years. Age differences between spouses were significant and it happened quite often that the husband was the same age or even younger, especially in the case of marriage with a widow.

They did not marry as they wanted and when they wanted. To avoid disorders, the Council of Trent decided in 1563 the keeping of parish registers for baptisms, marriages and deaths; it was necessary that the intended marriage be published during the celebration of three Sunday masses; it was required that the marriage be public and in the presence of two witnesses. And it was indissoluble. The Church ordered and, where appropriate, the Inquisition sanctioned. Sometimes there were exemptions and "arrangements", but in general these two institutions did not joke around. On the other hand, the Church encouraged marriage to avoid chaotic situations and to stabilize parishioners.

They did not marry during Advent or Lent. They did not marry if they were cousins. However, the Maltese loved to marry within the family because they washed their dirty linen in private. But the Church forbade such marriages below the fourth degree of consanguinity.

Marriage was also not possible if it turned out that the fiancé had had intimate relations with the mother or sister of his bride-to-be. If the couple wished to marry despite this obstacle, a lengthy procedure was initiated because it was necessary to ask the Parish Priest for a dispensation, which he forwarded to the Bishop who, after a long wait, replied that an inquiry would be conducted. During this time, the engaged couple were expected not even to speak to each other. In case of disobedience, the young man risked 3 to 9 months of community service, such as the repair of churches or the hospital.

It also happened that the young couple, growing impatient, would end up being married after being made to pay a fine. And that was not all! On their wedding day, they had to wait for the church doors to be opened for them, kneeling before the entrance, a lit candle in hand. With the ring on their finger, they were still not done. They had to promise to confess and take communion every fortnight, to fast on Saturdays, to say the Rosary every day, and this for two years!

The marriage of children was the parents' business. They multiplied inquiries, steps and negotiations with other families, often through the intermediary of a "huttaba", a sort of marriage broker. After lengthy discussions, a contract was drawn up before a notary. The spouses pronounced the first promise called "per verba de futuro"; it was more binding than an engagement because its annulment without valid reason could lead to excommunication. Moreover, in the case where the young man had had intimate relations with his fiancée, he risked prison. One can assume that such cases were not rare because the Church found itself obliged to forbid, in certain places, single women from receiving men after sunset. Under penalty of banishment from the parish!

The second promise of marriage was made at the church, on the wedding day. It was the promise "per verba de praesentia", the mutual consent, without which the marriage would not have been valid. But the future couple had been previously "seriously exhorted to respect their parents". In plain terms: no marriage if the parents did not agree. Generally, this was the case, but there were some clandestine marriages.

Statistics tell us that, despite the rigid morals of the time, 29% of births were conceived before marriage. And Frans Ciappara gives an explanation for most cases: "people married for procreation and not for recreation."

A marriage without children was unthinkable, and it was a misfortune. Children were the support and security for old age. And God had willed it so! And then, good heavens! One had not gone through all those steps and expenses for nothing! Without going so far as to say that marriage was a matter of big money, it had certainly required large and small sums, hard-earned and saved. And the times were very uncertain... So, being practical, the fiancés "tested" the fertility of their future wife.

In the vast majority of cases, they did not live with the parents, but much preferred to reside in the wife's parish because mother and daughter would assist each other, which would prove less easy with the mother-in-law. It also seems that grandchildren preferred the maternal grandmother. The proximity of her parents was a security for the wife in case of domestic violence, a fact that was unfortunately not rare. It was also a refuge for the children, if need be. Unhappy wives were supported not only by family and neighbors but also by the Church. First, they tried to bring the husband back to his senses, but in case of a repeat offense, he was sent to the galleys or into exile.

And what about love in all this? According to the studies of Frans Ciappara, marital relations seem to have been little or not at all sentimental. He cites a few testimonies of tenderness as exceptions. It is true that the Maltese are quite modest on this subject, but it appears that marriages and remarriages were an "arranged" alliance rather than the culmination of a romantic inclination.

Men prudently decided to marry when they had the means to support a family; and among them, there was a high proportion of bachelors. On the other hand, widowers remarried, and more than once if the occasion arose. As for girls, parents commonly said that "marrying off one's daughter is good, but keeping her at home is better."

And adultery? It was a perilous adventure! Judge for yourself. At the first misstep, a wayward husband was fined, at the second one too. But if he offended again, it was public flogging and hard labor. As for the frivolous wife, she was locked up in the "Conservatorio", a sort of asylum-prison, and her dowry was confiscated!

Bigamy. Yes indeed, there were cases of bigamy. People traveled a great deal; Maltese men married abroad, then "forgot" their first household, returned home and founded a second one. Others, reduced to slavery in a Muslim country, once freed, married a local woman. And seized by nostalgia, they returned to Malta and married a "countrywoman." On the women's side, some waited a long time for the return of a husband. Had he drowned in a shipwreck? Been killed during a boarding? Died in captivity? Witnesses affirmed that he was dead, so they remarried. And the husband reappeared! What dramatic situations and perhaps melodramas...

Therefore, the Church made sure that such disorders occurred as rarely as possible. It required sailors and travelers first a baptism certificate, an attestation from their Bishop and from two witnesses that they were indeed single, in order to be able to marry in Malta. Between 1750 and 1790, there were 3,251 requests for marriage authorization. False witnesses were publicly flogged and sentenced to 5 years in the galleys. During the same period, 359 women with no news of their husband requested permission to remarry…

Wedding Procession by Gianni Vella The Wedding Procession
By Gianni VELLA,
painter of the 19th century

The procession is preceded by cake bearers and by a charming maid of honor with a bouquet in hand.

A violinist and a guitarist play merry tunes and one can assume that they sing and even improvise wishes of happiness, as was the tradition.

The young couple advances under a canopy held by witnesses. From a nearby window, rice is thrown as a good luck charm along with sweets or almonds that children eagerly rush to pick up.

In the background, the mothers-in-law… and Long Live the Bride!

Text published with the kind permission of Aurore VERIE